A story of sensual self-discovery through modeling in the nude

This is me:) Photo by Studio Tokyo Beauty (Instagram @studiotokyobeauty)

I once thought myself a rather non-sexual being. A creature who, despite possessing the physical organs that most sexual mammals possess, was rather removed from the passions and pleasures that others found in the act itself. I was disconnected from that aspect of my being.

This didn't so much bother me, nor did I particularly seek to change it. My wiring is a little atypical anyway, I thought. I was and am a tomboy. I seldom aspired to dressing up and looking pretty and even more seldom engaged in conscious attempts to gain the attention of the opposite sex. The…

This is me. :) Photograph by: Amadi - Instagram @amadiseye

I've been modeling for years now. But it's not the kind of modeling most people think of when they hear the word. I don't do the high glamor fashion shoots, none of the fancy runways, no diamond jewelry advertisements. What I do is strip down and bare my skin and soul to the camera. I use my body to create shapes, to create scenes and story fragments that will draw from the audience some emotion, some contemplation.

For years, I did this somewhat secretly. I shared the activity and the product with only a few people. Recently, however I decided…

Love is not a feeling.

Photo by Kevin Oetiker on Unsplash

Love is a vibration. Like the wind you cannot see, but who’s touch you feel upon your skin. Like the breath inside you, like the song you yearn to sing.

Love is light to the soul.

My Dearest Friend,

Have you been well? I hope my last did not give you too great a shock. Please know that everything I write to you, I write out of love, as difficult as it may be for you to come to terms with what I say.

And yet, if we can surrender fully to this thing called love, if we can really…

Photo by Simon Berger on Unsplash

Come, dear boy, let me tell you a story. It is not one you’ve heard before, though maybe you have heard some stories like it. We are nearing the darkening days, you know. The nights get longer and the sunlight loses its warmth. We are approaching the death of the world, yet again. But death is only death. What really threatens us now, the true beast of the days of night, is fear. And it comes for us. Even before the heat of summer has fully withdrawn, the days of fear will be upon us. You are of an age…

When yours is half a world away.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

My family is far from me. Half a world away. I did not spend Thanksgiving with them, nor will I spend Christmas. Last year was the same.

Before I moved half a world away, they were less far from me. But it has been quite some time since we lived close enough to see each other more than once every few months. And now that interval is growing yet wider.

And still, I have never been lonely with my family far from me.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not to say that I…

Discovering the past to define the present~

Photo by Krys Amon on Unsplash

Look at our blockbusters, our bestsellers, and our history books, and you’ll find any number of stories chronicling the lives or major battles of famous fictional or nonfictional warriors. Sometimes these stories follow the struggles of a lone martial artist (like the Ip Man series starring Donnie Yen), sometimes they follow a group of fighters or military members (think Saving Private Ryan or Medal of Honor). …

Photo by Faye Cornish on Unsplash

We are two parts of the same spirit. He the shadow and I the light. He the earth and I the sky. He grounds me when I am at risk of going too high, of getting lost in all that bright stratosphere through which I fly.

And when he sinks, I pull him up. When he falls under, I call him from above. When his eyes would see only grey, I make his vision blush.

When I turn to fire, he cools me and calms my flames. And when he would care too little, my passion burns in his place.

Because in doing so, you are breaking your own heart.

Photo by Road Trip with Raj on Unsplash

How often do you look upon your past loves with bitterness or regret? How often do you think of a past love and wish it hadn’t happened? Maybe it was a one night stand you thought would turn into something more. Maybe you loved him with all your heart to find out he cheated on you. Maybe she left you for someone else. Does it eat you up inside, how much energy you spent on that man, that woman, whomever, only to be betrayed?

Or maybe you were the one…

And how can it be American?

Photo by Jade Lee on Unsplash

Welcome “American Bushido in Tokyo”. This is a column in which I, an American expat, will share with you various tidbits of my life in Tokyo and the lessons I learn with them. If you’re at all familiar with Japanese culture and history, you may have already come across the word bushido in your studies. If so, you’re likely picking apart all of the ways in which I may be misusing the word here.

For instance, if you know that the word bushi is a Japanese word for Samurai, you may be wondering how a modern American woman could possibly…

Everything you know about love is a lie.

Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash

To my dear friend. To you, whom I love so much, who has been so severely misled and so deeply frustrated.

I’ve thought of you often these past months. I know you’ve been searching for love. You’ve been hoping for it, yearning for it. You’re disheartened, aren’t you? By the constant push and pull. Here you find someone who seems just right, only to learn through yet another heartbreak that you were, once again, mistaken. Your valiant heart has been battered again and again by thwarted desire. You open yourself up bravely…

Jojo Atomic

A model/writer/performer/creator, based in Tokyo, Japan. A lover of philosophy, physicality, and — especially — food with friends.

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